Detachment is not that you should own nothing but that nothing should own you

(Sayyidina) Ali Ibn Abu Talib R.A.

Ramadaan is a time of reflection and a means by which we can practice “Tazkiyatul Nafs”–Purification of the Soul. Allah ﷻ  [(Azzawajal)  Mighty, Majestic, Glorious and Exalted] enjoins us to purify our souls in his noble book.  In Surah Ash-Shams, (91) Verses 9-10:

قَدْأَفْلَحَمَنْزَكَّاهَا * وَقَدْخَابَمَنْدَسَّاهَا

He who purifies it (the soul) will indeed be successful. And he who corrupts it is sure to fail.

How do we find the meaning of this verse so that we can implement it in our daily lives? According to Imam Ghazali Rahimahullah(Allah have mercy upon him), Tazkiyyatul Nafs means“completing the perfection of one’s soul by cutting down its desires,  and allowing its noble characteristics to evolve.”

If we do not limit or train or cut down our desires, it acts as a barrier to spiritual growth – allowing our better natures (higher selves) to surface and grow. Conversely, if left unchecked, following ones nafs (ego/primal desires) could lead to obsessiveness and can be so all-consuming causing imbalance and could even lead to self-abuse and destruction. (e.g. drug addiction, or any other kind of addiction).

Ramadaan offers us the opportunity to limit our nafs.  For those of you who were here for the talk by Fatima Essop , the first Sunday of Ramadaan, you will recall her message that staying away from food and drink helps us to humble and train the ego / nafs, to cut down our desires which is one of the main objectives of fasting.

Fatima also quoted Surah Al Nazi’aat (79) Verses: 40-41:

وَأَمَّامَنْخَافَمَقَامَرَبِّهِوَنَهَىالنَّفْسَعَنِالْهَوَىٰ

فَإِنَّالْجَنَّةَهِيَالْمَأْوَىٰ

And as for him who fears to stand before his Lord and forbids the soul from lower desires then surely the Garden that is its abode

There are many aspects ofnafsbut today I want to talk about only one of them –  limiting our material and emotional attachments to this world and its offerings.  Everything that Allah ‎ﷻhas created has opposites –light, dark, good, evil and so on. Attachment has its opposite, detachment.  Moving from the extreme of attachment towards detachment is a migration that presents much challenge to the human psyche.  We find ourselves forming attachments to the world and its many bedazzlements, to the extent that it sometimes becomes an obsession or drive. Some of us are attached to success, wealth, status. Some attachments are formed with material possessions, such as an attachment to a beautiful car you may own, or a house that must be kept in immaculate condition, or with state of the art décor, or even to things like shoes or clothes.

The most powerful attachments are less tangible and take the form of emotional attachments to the people we love. Sometimes attachments are less obvious and take the form of an idea that people have of themselves and how they see the world; and how they would like the world to see them. It is, I suspect it is not uncommon to have a combination of different powerful attachments. I see these attachments as part of the clutter and obstacles to purifying our souls.  How do we begin to detach ourselves and ennoble ourselves and purify our souls?

Perhaps it is to remind ourselves that these attachments are as valuable as their date of termination. The only problem is that the date of termination is uncertain as it inevitably is determined by the date of one’s death, therefore its value becomes somewhat diminished.  Death, as we know is the ONLY absolute certainty of LIFE.  If we know we are to die, why do to attach ourselves to things, thoughts and feelings that are finite, as we will inevitably have to detach ourselves from them at the point of our departure for this world, whenever that is.  The harder we cling to it, the more difficult it will be to let go of it.  Even more alarming is the thought of building all our hopes and dreams on a transient and temporary world.  Allah SWT says in Surah Al- Ankabut (29) : Verse 64:

وَمَاهَٰذِهِالْحَيَاةُالدُّنْيَاإِلَّالَهْوٌوَلَعِبٌۚوَإِنَّالدَّارَالْآخِرَةَلَهِيَالْحَيَوَانُۚ لَوْكَانُوايَعْلَمُونَ

The life of the world is nothing but a game and a diversion. The abode of the hereafter—that is truly Life if they only knew.

Surah Al-Ghaafir / Mu’min (40) Verse 39:

يَاقَوْمِإِنَّمَاهَٰذِهِالْحَيَاةُالدُّنْيَامَتَاعٌوَإِنَّالْآخِرَةَهِيَدَارُالْقَرَارِ

O my people, this worldly life is only [temporary] enjoyment, and indeed, the Hereafter – that is the home of [permanent] settlement.

That is not to say that one should not live life, have hopes and dreams, own things.  That is part of the human experience.  The problem is when those things, thoughts and feelings own you.  We can test ourselves in how we react to loss.  That gives us a measuring stick of the worth we place in the object of our loss and the level of attachment we have to it.  How do you feel when your brand-new car gets a dent or a scratch, does it rip at your insides a little?  How about your expensive leather couch gets a stain, do you physically feel a pain? If we pin all our desire and energy on anything so uncertain, we are sure to be distraught by the loss of it.  I am reminded of the words of a song–“My life is for rent, nothing I have is truly mine”.  Is this not true though, we have the use of things and the gift of relationships, be they with our partners or children, we own nothing in reality, even if we have paid up houses or cars, for the majority, even those are owned by financial institutions, to whom we are enslaved over a period of years until the debt is paid, giving us a shallow illusion of ownership.  The truth is that a paid-up house remains here after you depart and is of no use to you. Maybe for your children who then repeat the cycle of owning and clinging to something which will ultimately have zero personal value to them at the point of death.   What is the sense in engaging your consciousness in acquiring and consuming things until you die.  Then what? The one who has the most wins?   This, for me is compelling proof that the bedazzlement of the world is a distraction from the substance of a meaningful life.  Have things, love with all your heart, but understand that they will be lost one day and be prepared to let go.  Wouldn’t it then be better to mentally detach yourself now so that if you experience loss it is an experience and not a suffering?

It becomes easier if you accept that everything in life is on loan. It goes without saying therefore, that the Giver of life, is also the taker thereof and therefore the benefactor of everything. We could be dispossessed of anything at any time. It is on long-term or sometimes short-term loan.  Insurance companies have no problem fear mongering you into taking life insurance to cover your family but cannot guarantee you or your loved ones eternal life. As a human being, how much do you really control? Whether you are struggling to maintain what you have, whether it be millions, or enough to get through day by day, it is still a struggle.  There can be no control in this kind of struggle. Struggle to control is almost an oxymoron. Letting go could begin by allowing that scratch on your car or the stain on your couch to be a reminder of the transience of everything you ‘own’or think you control, including our children.

What about rejection by a loved one. Being rejected by a spouse or partner can be humiliating and devastating if you allow it to be.  If someone has chosen to leave you, let that not be a reflection of how you feel about yourself, but rather how the person leaving may feel about themselves. Perhaps they are searching and seek answers from another person instead of introspecting and turning to Allah Azzawajal. Perhaps you have been released you from being the fulfiller of their own dreams. I have written about the subject of expecting happiness form others more extensively, and that is another aspect of constraining the nafsfor another day.  For now, consider that if you were a disappointment to someone, who rejected you, perhaps they were seeking too much from you and are likely to find themselves in the same position with someone else.  Consider whether you are not in that same endless trap and find a way out before it too consumes you.

The ultimate loss through the death of a loved one is obviously difficult.  If you’ve ever experienced the loss of a loved one through illness, you may be familiar with the feeling of not doing enough to try to get them back to health, blaming doctors or medications etc. etc.  The passing of my beloved father, who was my Imaam, my teacher and my mentor (May Allah make him amongst those who are foremost amongst His slaves), extremely difficult for me. He was ill for 9 months and I constantly thought he would get better and regain his health and I thought there must be more that I could do to speed up that process.  My father had been a focal influence in my life and I had a deep attachment to him.  He was my back-up and his passing felt like a rug was being pulled out from under my feet. I struggled to believe that he was passing away. I looked to blame the incompetence of doctors, the hospital and so on, but eventually I realized it was his time and mercifully, I was able to let go before he peacefully passed on in the waqt(time) of Fajr on a Friday and was buried before the Jummuah salaah. It was his time.  He returned unto his Creator and journeyed to the next phase of his existence.  I miss him every day, but I can continue my life with the invaluable tools he had left me and knowledge he passed onto me, with peace and the acceptance that he has continued his journey, where I would have to follow when it is my time.  His passing was the point for me in which Allah, in His infinite mercy, pulled me towards an acceptance that as much as I loved and depended on my father, HeAllah ﷻis my support. Heis my  guardian and protector.  I realised how much I sought my father’s approval. It was time to seek only Allah’s approval.

Life is a gift, as is everything else made available to us on this earth, but like everything else it can be taken away, lost, destroyed. The most excruciating pain I could conceive would be to lose a child and even though I’d rather not entertain the thought, I am acutely aware that I have no control over their or my time on this earth.  I was tested when my son wanted a gap year in Australia this year at an Aborigine School in Queensland in the Australian outback in the middle of nowhere.  I knew it would be good for him for character building amongst other life lessons and I agreed. Closer to the time of his departure I had misgivings and  a voice in my head kept saying ‘he is not coming back’.  I was distraught and I almost let my fears overcome me, Then with His mercy, I remembered Nabi Ebrahim A.S., who on the command of Allah SWT was not only prepared himself to kill his beloved son, but also left his wife and that same infant son in the middle of the dessert, and trusted his Lord.  I felt ashamed and knew in my heart that if Allah decides that I will lose my son, it is His will and it matters not whether he is here or in a distant country, Allah controls all.   I had to detach myself and let him go. Don’t get me wrong, I still make dua for his safe return, but I have relinquished control unto Him and only with His mercy, الْحَمْدُلِلَّهِ.   (All praise is due to God alone).

Sheikh Ahmed Saad Al-Azhari Al Hasani, whom we have been blessed to have as a guest speaker at the Pinelands Masjied this Ramadaan, says in his book “Contemplating the Quran”:

“Although attachments are at root part of human nature…the danger lies entirely in attachments that cause selfishness, stinginess, cowardice and fear to pervade the heart.  It is expected of every Muslim that they acknowledge the Bestower before they acknowledge what is bestowed; for doing so brings about gratitude and generosity as well as preoccupation with the Giver rather than the gift.  On the other hand, to recognize only the blessing afflicts man with miserliness and destructive attachment to it”It is for that reason that Allah ﷻ enjoins us to give freely. He quotes Surah Al Baqarah (2) Verse 254:

يَاأَيُّهَاالَّذِينَآمَنُواأَنْفِقُوامِمَّارَزَقْنَاكُمْمِنْقَبْلِأَنْيَأْتِيَيَوْمٌلَابَيْعٌفِيهِوَلَاخُلَّةٌوَلَاشَفَاعَةٌۗوَالْكَافِرُونَهُمُالظَّالِمُونَ

Oh believers give freely of that with which We have provisioned you before there comes a day when trade will not avail you (money), nor friendship or intercession (close ties).

Detachment does not mean giving up everything and living the life of a hermit.  We are social beings and have dependencies on each other.  Detachment is more about not letting things of this world whether they be things or relationships, consume and own us, so that they define your existence here. Instead to be ever grateful for their loan and use thereof during our journey through life.  Travel light my father taught me….

I too struggle.   My personal reminder to aid my detachment of all that I love in this world is to submit to my Creator as my benefactor, and the owner, controller, designer of everything in this world and beyond.  Any control we think we have is but the illusion of control. The ultimate control lies with the Master of the universe and unto Him is our return.  Perhaps if I continue practicing this over and over, and not give up even if I fail sometimes, I may be able to purify somewhat of my tarnished soul.

May Allah, in His infinite mercy , help us all.

With love, Radia 💚

(In the name of God, most Gracious, most Compassionate)

لسَّلاَمُعَلَيْكُمْوَرَحْمَةُاللهِوَبَرَكَاتُهُ to all

(May the peace, mercy, and blessings of God be with you)

I know deep within me that I have a drive to make a difference in the world.  To help my fellow human beings, and in so doing to help myself, my soul, and my ailing relationship with my Creator. Of course, I would love to make a sweeping difference to the illnesses we face in our time, to the terror and injustice that surrounds us, overt and insidious in its many forms, but I must start somewhere and accept that it is my intention and my journey that is more important than my success.

I have been pondering the current ill-repute that befalls Muslims, who have replaced the late nineteenth and early twentieth century red devil called “Communism”. The stigma of “Communist” has of course long since been replaced by the noun “terrorist”.   Muslims have become the new target of global bullying. The antics of extremist groups have no doubt created a convenient excuse for this onslaught and there are many accounts, theories and exposés about the sophisticated machinery behind it all.  My focus is less on the manipulations of the world order and the unscrupulous behaviour of those in power, not because it is any less important, but because I wish to look at other less explored angles around the phenomenon of oppression, terrorism and injustice in the world today.  Instead of focusing on who to blame for our condition, we could explore how to rise out of the oppression by correcting ourselves.

Allah ‎ﷻ says in the Holy Quran

8:53 Al Anfaal (The Spoils of war)

ذَٰلِكَ بِأَنَّ اللَّهَ لَمْ يَكُ مُغَيِّرًا نِّعْمَةً أَنْعَمَهَا عَلَىٰ قَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ ۙ وَأَنَّ اللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ

That is because Allah would not change a favour which He had bestowed upon a people until they change what is within themselves. And indeed, Allah is Hearing and Knowing.

13:11 Ar-Ra”d (The Thunder)

لَهُ مُعَقِّبَاتٌ مِّن بَيْنِ يَدَيْهِ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِ يَحْفَظُونَهُ مِنْ أَمْرِ اللَّهِ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ ۗ وَإِذَا أَرَادَ اللَّهُ بِقَوْمٍ سُوءًا فَلَا مَرَدَّ لَهُ ۚ وَمَا لَهُم مِّن دُونِهِ مِن وَالٍ –

For each one are successive [angels] before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allah. Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.And when Allah intends for a people ill, there is no repelling it. And there is not for them besides Him any patron.

These Ayat (verses) make me think that perhaps we are engaging from the wrong starting point. We seem all too ready to look at what the Ruling nations are doing to us.  We have much evidence that they are orchestrating and manipulating a grand façade to demonise the Muslims. The extraordinary smoke screen around 9/11 is one such example.  The physical evidence supporting the inside job theory is palpable. The shenanigans in Syria where the US/ NATO alliance are leading the world to believe all manner of falsehoods about the war. You just need to search on You tube for several exposés on the subject. To add to our woes, there is the carefully orchestrated ISIS, pre-ceded by Alqaeeda, whose ideology detonates the fibre of our deen(religion) in a way that makes one wonder whether we indeed follow the same religion.  There are theories that they are well organised terror mongers some set up by the super powers.  All this is common place already. I am reminded of a narrative I once heard about Gengis Khan, when he came upon a Muslim group he was about to conquer, and he was alleged to have said to them “What have you Muslims done that God caused a tyrant like me to come upon you”.  I don’t know whether this story is true, but it certainly rings true for the situation that the Muslims face in the 21^stcentury.  I ask myself What have we done to cause the tyranny against us?

Palestine has been under siege since 1948, with no end in sight.  Maybe we need to revisit our premise.  The fight against this oppression has yielded no success for close 70 years.  Is it because the enemy is too strong for us? How can this be if Allah ﷻhas given us the armament of truth and displayed its efficacy? During the lifetime of the Prophet (ﷺ), when Islam was under attack, battles were won with the odds stacked against the Muslims. These battles were always in responseto aggression. In each of these battles the Muslims followed the Universal law of never losing control of their Imaan. (hope and belief in the metaphysical aspects of Islam). The ethical codes were adhered to – not harming women and children and women, [i]non-combatants such as old people, monks and workers, [ii]disabled and infirm,[iii]not mutilating dead combatants,[iv]showing mercy to combatants who surrender,[v]treating prisoners of war humanely,[vi]not cutting of trees, destroying surroundings and killing animals without reason,[vii]and no forced conversion to Islam.[viii]

Let us not forget that when the Muslims exceeded the ethical bounds and they almost lost at the battle of Uhud. About fifty combatants, were keeping watch on a hilly narrow pass where the enemy might cross the hill and attack from behind. Despite the prophet’s (ﷺ) recommendations, they left the place to collect spoils when the enemy was running away. The enemy seized the opportunity and attacked the Muslims at the rear. A slip-up of ill-discipline, almost caused a defeat on that day, but the battle ended in a draw. Ali ibn Abu Talib in the battle of Uhud was said to have been on the brink of conquering an opponent and before a final blow, his conquered opponent is said to have spat on him. Instead of finishing him off, Ali (R.A) rose put his sword into the scabbard and walked back to his own lines. He refused to kill for personal satisfaction, anger, vindication or revenge, in a mortal combat situation.

We have these examples, yet we fight against oppression with the cloak of vengeance and justify almost any act of defiance, no matter how heinous.  How can anger be our motivator.

Why is it that when bad things happen to other groups of people we are all too ready to attribute it to their own wrong-doing, but when these things happen to the Muslims, it is always someone else’s fault, or it is simply a “test”, but it can never be our fault. Why would we assume that we are immune from the ayaat(verses) in Surahs(chapters) Al An-Faal and Ar-Raad (referred to above)?  Is it because we think we’re special and superior in some way?  What isspecial, and superior is the Quran and the messages of His Rasool (ﷺ) and not by default its human errant followers.  Are we not all trying and struggling to meet our obligations daily? Are we not supposed to be engaged in the Jihad of our nafs(ego) and most often failing?  How many of us can say we never speak ill of others, or forgive people who harm us, or forgo the debts owed to us, or suppress our anger and resentment even when we are emotionally triggered?  Yet we always feel that we are right and better than anyone else.  We treat non-Muslims as if they are lesser beings.  We treat Shi’a Muslims as if they are heretics that should be exterminated, yet we stand next to them at the Haram and commemorate with them at the House of our Rabb.  Allah ﷻ invites them, despite their differences.  Does He not say that He will sort out the differences between us? We disparage anyone who has a different perspective of deen(religion) even if they are Sunni Muslims. Arabs disparage non-Arabs. Barelvis and Deobandis disparage each other. The list is endless.  Each group firmly holds on to the fixed mind-set of that only they are right in every way and that any deviation (even the slightest) is heretical.  There is a frightening resemblance to the ideology of the Crusades.

Is this the superiority we lay claim to?

We shun others who are different and now the world shuns us.  Allah allows this condition to prevail.  Perhaps we need to heed His message?  Our condition will not change until we change within ourselves. The narrations and revelations in the Quran is the purest guide for humanity

We have been spinning in this vortex of self-destruction feeding into the global agenda for decades and it only gets worse. When it comes to the enemy, I often hear expressions like, they will get their day! Allah will mete out justice and they will see.  I too express these sentiments and indeed believe it to be true. My thoughts are that here and now, we Muslims are experiencing adversity – Is this not our warning from Him about our own injustice? Perhaps we have been oppressors and now become oppressed?   If we do not change from within, He, most merciful most affectionate will not change our condition. How will we know what that condition is if we do not question ourselves? Perhaps if we make that change, the tools against oppression will become manifest and lead us to success?

I leave you with the reminder of the beloved prophet (ﷺ)’s experience at Taa’if. This community humiliated and harmed him in a way that brings me to tears, and when Allah ﷻ gave him the option, nay the right to have them destroyed. He (ﷺ), chose the noble path, recognising his purpose in this world.  What is ourpurpose here?

Wasalaam

With love Radia💚

[i]Anas ibn Malik reports that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) forbade the killing of women and children. [Muslim: 4320]

[ii]Ibn Abbas narrates that the Prophet (may peace be upon him) said to an outgoing army, “Leave in the name of God, and upon the way of his messenger. Do not kill any old person”. [Al-Bayhaqi: 16689]

Ibn Abbas also narrates from the Prophet (may peace be upon him) said, “Do not ever kill the people living in towers (i.e. monks). [Nayl al-Awtar: 3324] Rabah ibn Rabee’ says he left in an expedition with the prophet (peace be upon him), who went up to Khalid ibn Walid [his general] and said “Do not kill the workers / wage earners [i.e. those workers not fighting you]”. [Ahmad: 15562]

[iii]The blind, the infirm and the monks are not to be killed according to Islamic legal scholars as they are not from among the combatants, similar to the old person. [Al-Mugni: 7612]

[iv]Sulaiman b. Buraid through his father reports that when the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) appointed anyone as a leader of an army or detachment he would especially exhort him to fear Allah and to be good to the Muslims who were with him. He would say:

“Fight in the name of Allah and in the way of Allah… do not break your pledge; and do not mutilate (the dead) bodies; do not kill the children. [Muslim 4294]

[v]And if one of the disbelievers surrenders and pleads mercy, then show mercy so that they can hear the words of Allah, and then allow him to go back to his place of safety. [Qur’an 9: 5]

[vi]And they give food, in spite of their love for it (or for the love of Him), to the Miskeen (the poor), the orphan, and the captive, (Saying): ‘We feed you seeking Allah’s Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you”. [Qur’an 76:8-9]

Ibn ‘Abbas said: in those days their prisoners were mushrikeen (polytheists; on the day of Badr the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) commanded them to be kind to their prisoners, so they used to put them before themselves when it came to food… Mujahid said, this refers to the one who is detained, i.e., they would give food to these prisoners even though they themselves desired it and loved it. [Tafsir ibn Kathir: Al-Insan]

[vii]Abu Bakr said, “I advise you, do not cut the fruitful trees, or destroy homes. And do not wound the sheep, goats or cattle except to for eating”. [Al-Muwatta: 949]

[viii]Let there be no compulsion in religion – Truth stands out clear from Error! Whoever rejects evil and believes in God has grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah hears and knows all things. [Quran 2: 256]

All references from https://ilmfeed.com/8-rules-of-engagement-taught-by-the-prophet-muhammad/